Life has a way of keeping you on your toes, throwing you a curve ball, making sure you never know what is coming next. Today I officially realized that. People can forgive and change. Im so glad he came up to me to apologize for everything. It gives me hope that maybe one day we can be friends again maybe even more one day. Its a very very long shot but I also though that this day would never come so who knows maybe a day of friendship will come too. I want him to be happy maybe that can be with me. It sucks because I feel like I haven’t really thought about him in months and now all the old feelings of wanting him back, having him close are flooding into my psychie. I would love one last chance with him to make it all right gain his trust back do whatever, everything and anything to make him believe again that I am the girl that would never hurt him and be his only.

I guess I just have to sit back and see what life hands me next. I stand by everything happens for a reason and whats meant to be will find a way.

Im in like with someone I’ve never met but know, lives a good hundreds of miles away and is taken. But the only thing I want to do is see him and kiss him he is the type of guy I have been waiting for. I see no flaw.

2012 was a year that definitley changed me I lost friends in 2011 and gained some in 2012. (I think for once I didnt have a major break down) I learned everything happened for a reason and Im finally starting to understand that. I did things I never thought I would in 2012, check into a hotel by myself, fly in my first airplane by myself, go to a korn concert, give love another chance and realize right now I’m whats important, become friends with who I thought was my worst enemy, and so much more I couldnt have asked for a better year 2012 was everything I could have asked for but I feel really good about this new year and expect even more. I do Vow to work out, stretch, and eat better. I know now how important that is and dont wanna lose my progress I have gained. Over all this New year Im gonna gain my better self. I always say this is my year Im going to make it my year and I kind of succeeded for 2012 but I know I will for 2013. With my real friends with me and changes on its way I can’t wait for all the amazing things 2013 will bring… Tumblr has became so much more than just a blogging website, its home. Even though none of you know me You all have helped me in your own ways and have kept me sane. Happy New Year

Today couldn’t have started any better. I wouldn’t have wated it to start any other way. Waking up next to you was a perfect beginning. It really is surprising how great you make me feel. When we first started talking I didn’t expect this to come from our relationship. I like you so much and can see something really working out from this. Words can’t even begin to describe how you make me feel, when I try to explain it to friends all i do is get all gitty, and giggle, and smile and nonsense just flys out my mouth. You make me feel just special and amazing and kissing your lips I never wanna stop before I pull away I find myself going back in for another. I know you’ve told me how you felt but who knows if we both will ever actually truely know. I hope this all works out and if not that I still have a friendship out of it because no matter what He’s a rare find, an absolutely amazing person! :)

Sometimes things happen with out any rhyme or reason and other times someone just rhymes there way straight into your life. I never thought this soon I would find a connection with someone that I barely even know someone that really just makes your heart flow. We are an hour apart but I refuse to let distance be what keeps us apart. Relationships have gone up and down for me and I never thought I could feel butterflies again but let me tell you it feels like I had a huge bowl of monarchs for breakfast. It may be to soon to tell how far anything will go but for right now Im living in the moment and the moment is perfect.
My life is great but Its hard to believe how “depressed” I always felt about relationships or legit anything. This just shows you, you never know what the future will bring you. Things can always get better :)

I’ve gotten to this point where I have now sounded Bi polar I go back and forth 24/7 Love Hate but I realize after talking with a few of my friends and seeing/ hearing things happen, People come and go out of your life all the time you can never 100% please some one and there will always be someone that doesnt like you. It hurts that I have lost a good group of people that I was so close with and dont get me wrong it still hurts like hell everyday but As unfortunate as that is the people that truely love you and want you in their life will make sure to stick with you. You only have one life to live and have to live it for yourself no one else. I’ve caught my self thinking about the past, thinking about I wonder if I do this if he’d like that, thinking about if only I could of changed that, if only I knew this was going to happen but the thing is everything happens for a reason and you cant live your life for anyone except yourself and make sure that you are as happy as you can be. People are always ready to see you fall but you have to always find a reason to stand. Right now main priority is just school work and moving out by the beginning of next year at the latest being happy is what I am for, just on the pursuit of happiness.

Wednesday I feel will really help me in my new start and aim towards life. It’ll always be hard I know but I think I have the right people in my life to help me get through and I hope I can do it on my own if the time ever calls for it.

How is it that a man who has the potential to be millions of miles away from me still owns my heart and mind. I’m starting to completely like a new guy but yet one word from you makes me remember that I want to wait for you and hope that you realize it could be me and you again. I miss you every day now to the point where you have invaded my dreams and I can’t shake it. One day I’m pretty sure I’m good and try to play off everything like I have never thought about you once that day but the truth is I think about you every day. I miss you and I wish you missed me in the same way. Love can be a powerful thing. I never realized that it would keep me this attatched to you almost a year and a half after that we have broken up.

(Source: dementorskissgoodnight)